5 Things I’ve Learned In 5 Years Of Styling
What I’d say to the 30-year-old aspiring stylist who started Limonata Creative in 2016…
(Banner photo: My younger and current selves having a stare-down. Portrait on left by Maura Asteria; portrait on right by Justin Flythe; Author: Limonata Creative; Editor: Liz Watt)
Even though I can hardly believe it, this year marks 5 years that Limonata Creative has existed in the world, not just as a figment of my imagination. Even though it’s corny and cliche, that saying “time flies when you’re having fun” keeps popping up in my mind as I write this post because dang, it HAS been fun! Annnnnd sure, it’s also been stressful and crazy and overwhelming and ALL THE THINGS; but also, like, really, REALLY fun.
To be quite honest, a lot of days I still find myself blinking in astonishment whenever it hits me that I’m getting paid to shop, collect props, curate fun aesthetics, and arrange objects for a living. Who knew?!?! Thinking back to the 30 year old me - the girl who somewhat stubbornly decided to dive into styling without many resources or mentors to turn to - there are things I wish I could share with her. Mainly, what the journey looks like ahead and the bumps in the road she might encounter…
While I can’t go back in time (seriously, why isn’t time travel a thing yet??), I thought: why not share them with you instead? Maybe you’re there now, feeling on the brink of something wonderful but also wondering “what in the actual hell am I doing???” Yep. I get it. I’ve been there, too. And, quite honestly, those feelings never completely go away. But I’m here to tell you that it WILL get better and easier, believe me.
So, here are 5 of the most important things I’ve learned in my 5 years of being a creative freelancer:
The current, slightly wiser me. Portrait by Justin Flythe
1. You’ll make mistakes. Like, A LOT OF THEM.
I swear every new day presents a new circus act of challenges: Your steamer stops working while you’re on set and suddenly you have to use a public bathroom sink and hand dryer to get wrinkles out of a linen; You realize you’ve forgotten a crucial element of your project AT HOME after you’ve already driven all the way to the shoot location; You’ve taken on way more jobs / responsibilities than you’re able to handle at once and you’re drowning in work…. The list goes on. And it never ends. But honestly, that’s all part of it. These “WTF?!” moments allow you to write your own personal manual on what to do & what not to do, what you do & don’t like, and how to improve your game. Even though you’ll feel like you’re shriveling up inside and most likely turn into a puddle of tears (more than once) because something didn’t go “as planned”, remind yourself to be gentle on yourself and embrace the mistakes. They’re your new teacher, and the only way to pass the class is by learning from them.
What Bob said! (Source unknown)
2. If you want to be taken seriously, then take yourself seriously.
Guys, I’m sorry, but only having an Instagram account does not make you look professional. Ouch, I know, but TRUST ME. Just having a social media account as your sole “portfolio” tells potential clients that you’re not willing to go the extra mile to invest in yourself; so why would they invest in you?
The first year that Limonata was in business, I came up with and registered my business name with my state, paid to be an LLC, printed business cards, started a new social media handle, created a website via Squarespace, invested in professional photography (only x4 photos because it was all I could afford), emailed photographers / creatives in my area to collaborate & grow our portfolios, went to professional networking events, talked to complete strangers about “what I’m doing now”…. basically anything and everything I could do to make myself feel as legit as possible. And guess what - IT WORKED. You have to believe in yourself before others can believe in you, and you have to put yourself out there.
Within 1 year I met a number of people who hired me to style a handful of their events, which led me to meet a bunch more people who wanted me to style their photoshoots, which led me to land my very first printed, editorial shoot for Baltimore Magazine. All this in 1 year!! Things really took off from there.
Am I saying it’s impossible for you to get paid doing what you want without taking all these exact steps? No, of course not. This is just what I know and what worked for me. I’d take these steps all over again in a heartbeat and would recommend them to anyone.
These were the 1st 3 images I ever styled and paid to have professionally photographed to use on my website as banners in 2016 (Photos by Tom McCorkle)
3. Follow those gut instincts; THEY KNOW.
Not going to lie, this is WAY harder than it sounds. I’m still constantly trying to tap into those miniscule feelings that float around in my tummy and in my chest. Sometimes it’s a tightening, sometimes it’s an “ickiness”, sometimes it’s butterflies brought on by excitement… these little breaths inside whisper words of wisdom. They say “be careful” or “follow this road ‘cause it’s GOOD”. More often than not, we forget to listen to them. Next thing we know, we’re kicking ourselves for getting into a sticky situation because, hot damn, we totally had “that weird feeling” from the start but pushed it down. The more we practice tuning in though, the easier it becomes to recognize those little internal warning signs and the less bumpy the road gets.
4. You (and your clients) will only truly love your work if it’s authentically YOU.
In the beginning, I felt so insignificant, in over my head, and late to the party compared to everyone else. I was 30 years old when I decided to start this career. I didn’t have training or a solid mentor. I didn’t even know what “my style” was. All I knew was that there were successful people out there doing this job whose work I could ogle for hours on social media & the internet. That led me to believe that the style of work I was drawn to must also be my style. So for a time as I was starting out, I followed the lead of those creatives, using similar colors, objects, compositions, and - as ashamed as I am to admit this - ultimately, their ideas. I thought copying what was already successful, in the style I was most attracted to, must be the clearest and easiest path to my own success and cementing my own style.
But the more I did that, the more the reality that I was a copycat, a fake, kept creeping its way into my skin. Nothing I was creating felt genuine. Then there was the time when another creative in the industry (who I knew) spotted a photo that I had styled that looked suspiciously similar to their work… too similar. They called me out on it. And I was mortified. I took the image down from my site. From that moment on, I decided to take extra measures to make sure the work I was making was ME.
I started relying less and less on the images & ideas that already existed in the world and began making my own concepts & sketches from scratch. And you know what? That’s really when I started understanding who “I was” creatively. People took notice. I started getting hired not because I just made pretty things, but because people liked my unique ideas. It was a huge shift and one that’s made things much more enjoyable since then.
Do I no longer get influenced or inspired by images on social media anymore? Well, duh, of course I do! Everyone does. But now I mash up bits and pieces of what I see along with things I observe in nature, or architecture, or my own experiences to make unique work. Taking inspiration from others, from the work you see around you, is completely natural, but take that inspiration and let it propel you into creating something that is authentically you, not just a recreation of what inspired you. There’s only 1 me and there’s only 1 you. Focus on that and I promise, in due time, you’ll also find success!
5. Learning to say “No” is an absolute “Yes”.
I don’t know about you, but I personally struggle with boundaries. There’s a part of me that wants to take on anything and everything that comes my way. FOMO plays a part in this; Also fear of disappointing people by turning down projects; Not to mention fear of disappointing myself by not being able to “handle it all”. This way of thinking led me to spend wayyyy too many hours burning the midnight oil, working weekends, taking on unenjoyable projects, and working with clients that didn’t inspire me. This ultimately impacted my professional and personal life negatively. There were days where I was so burnt out that I really questioned whether I could keep going in this way (which, deep down, I knew I couldn’t).
In order to save myself from going back to the corporate world and keep my business (and sanity) alive, I learned that I needed to start saying “no”, which kinda terrified me. I’ve always been a people pleaser. “What if they go elsewhere for my services and I lose the business!? Maybe I’ll never get hired again!” I thought. But guess what? The MINUTE I started saying “no”, it turned my world around - and for the better. Much to my surprise, setting boundaries in this way boosted my confidence, allowed me to justify spending quality time with my family and friends, and gave me space to do things I wanted to do (creatively and personally). It made me feel like, finally, I owned my business instead of my business owning me.
Power lies in the word “no”. Use it or risk losing it.
Saying “no” can give the space to create more authentically, have more fun, and at the very least - groove with your friends again! (Kate Grewal & I letting loose during a 2020 collab)
To you, whoever you are and wherever you are in this journey:
Try not to be scared. Believe it or not, you have all the right stuff within you. Remember to thank yourself - for being brave and bold and free. You’ve got this.
